


Breaker of Dicks

by hitokiridarkempress



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bottom Tony, Humor, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, RIP Stephen's reputation, Wong is bamf, alien warlords are acting like old ladies, crackish, wong and rhodey are so done with their white boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:40:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25259356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hitokiridarkempress/pseuds/hitokiridarkempress
Summary: Tony Stark is having the time of his life.The bed had enough and decided, “I’m about to end this man’s career.”or the sexy times have gone horribly wrong fic
Relationships: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Comments: 8
Kudos: 65





	Breaker of Dicks

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone asked why I was gone for so long aside from the obvious clusterfuck of a year, I went back to my old gaming habits. Oh, Playstation how I love thee and the good old JRPGs.
> 
> This was based off something I thought of months ago [here](https://metalandfood.tumblr.com/post/190874220442/i-decided-we-need-sexy-times-gone-wrong-for-our/%22)

If anyone asked why Tony Stark likes sleeping in his boyfriend’s bed rather than his own luxury bed, Tony would monologue on how the aesthetics and sound effects are completely different when sleeping on a big bed with a nice rustic wood frame when it comes to Tony’s favorite hoe-time. And Tony Stark is one proud unashamed hoe.

Tony Stark loves his boyfriend’s dick: licking dick, sucking dick, riding dick. Anyway he could have that glorious dick inside him morning, noon, and night he considers it as a win. And right now Tony is riding on high bouncing happily on one supreme dick. With the added bonus of the wooden frame creaking under the pressure and Stephen urging him to go faster, Tony Stark is having the time of his life.

The bed had enough and decided, “I’m about to end this man’s career.” And the bed finally gave out.

CRACK!

“AARRRGGHHH!” 

During mid-bounce, the bed gave out causing Tony to land at an awkward angle. It was indeed an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object which caused both parties extreme pain and pleasure all at once.

Tony sees nothing but white as he feels Stephen’s cock lodged deeper and possibly tearing something, then he feels the hot scalding liquid burning him from the inside. Betrayed by the thing he loves most.

This is how Tony Stark dies, ladies and gentlemen.

He can see his headstone now, “Here lies Tony Stark, impaled by dick.”

What a way to go…

Stephen isn’t faring much better. One minute he was enjoying seeing his boyfriend riding him and the next minute he feels the sudden drop and learned the **hard** way of feeling the full weight of one Tony Stark on his most sensitive organ.

For the first time in Stephen Strange’s life, his mind just blacked out and erased the horrible memory in sheer preservation and yeeted Stephen’s astral form out from his body. After getting killed by Dormmamu over a thousand times, this is the most embarrassing one.

Nearly dying of a broken dick courtesy of one Tony Stark.

Shaking his head, Stephen can see Tony bent over in pain and can’t move. Moreover, Tony’s ass is acting as a makeshift splint for his poor penis as he can feel the phantom pain of the sprain and vaguely feels a hairline crack on his pelvis. They can’t stay like this forever, and they definitely need medical treatment and fast.

First things first, calm Tony down before he screams out he’d accidently killed his boyfriend during sex. It’s embarrassing enough as is, and frankly he doesn’t want to be known as the guy whose dick got broken by Tony Stark.

Half hour later when Tony can finally think after the brain-killing pain subsided; Tony owes Pepper and Christine several favors in doing this one giant solid. Right after they stopped laughing at him and Stephen. FRIDAY better delete those pictures they took too, it’s not funny!

Being called breaker of dicks sounds like a bad Game of Thrones porno, and while the name is catchy, he rather remain Stephen’s boyfriend. If Stephen doesn’t want to break up because of this… (he doesn’t, but Tony owes him a new bed). One snarky paramedic just said, “It’s not the weirdest thing I saw, so please un-clench so we can get you on a gurney unless you want to stay where you are? I get paid by the hour; I don’t get paid to give a damn.”

Figures that paramedic is related to Wong in some way. He really needs to look up Wong’s family tree; the utter lack of respect is strong in the family. (Minimum wage = minimum effort, Wong’s family motto)

It took a LOT of money, NDAs and promises of showing up for birthday parties for the paramedics to not breathe a word of this.

A few hours later, James Rhodes and Wong are in Metro Hospital wondering if they should still be sober after seeing a sight they rather not see.

For James Rhodes, he rather not see Tony being small and sulky, biting down a pillow lying face down ass up with an ice pack on his ass. At least the sheet covered up whatever sliver of modesty Tony might still have (not much). It’s slightly better than dealing with Tony in MIT…slightly.

Wong is staring stone-faced at a still unconscious Stephen with a large cast encased around his pelvis and sees from the corner of his eye, the astral form of one naked Stephen hiding behind the Cloak of Levitation. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the one who’s supposed to protect the multi-verse from supernatural threats. If the Ancient One can see Stephen now…

Eh, Stephen had it coming anyway. That’ll teach him to think with the head on his shoulders instead of the little one. Now he can finally replace that damn swaying light in his former room. Bastard…

An elderly doctor came in and simply stated cold hard facts about the injuries Tony and Stephen sustained. Leaving Tony and Stephen crying out in protest while Wong and Rhodey high-fived each other at hearing the news. Peace and quiet at last!

No sex for 8-12 weeks, that’s how long it will take for them to heal from their injuries. The slow path to healing, no technology nor magic could speed up the process. 3 months of absolute celibacy. While Stephen may have accepted the news in defeat and reassures Tony that it is only a slight setback, Tony just remained quiet.

A quiet Tony is a plotting Tony, and a plotting Tony is a very dangerous Tony.

Tony Stark may not be able to have sex, or sit, but damn it he will not take this lying down!

The first thing he does is create a hover gurney with a customized joystick that may or may not be modeled after a boyfriend’s certain body part, because damn it he has to suffer the indignity of not being able to sit, then everyone else can have an eye-level view of his ass so they can kiss it. And it has the added bonus of Rhodey to quit calling him breaker of dicks, Stark of the ruptured sphincter, the bed-slayer, and other really bad Game of Thrones nicknames. Just because he can’t play with Stephen’s dick right now, doesn’t mean he can let his hand skills get rusty. 

And if he bought and closed down several newspapers for running that breaker of dicks tagline that somehow got out to the public, that’s his business and Pepper can’t stop him. Stephen’s dick is plenty thick, and his ass hasn’t quit, it’s just taking a sabbatical. Though he did get a few offers of sponsorship and partnerships with several bed and mattress companies.

The second thing Tony did was create a wood/metal fusion of a new bedframe that even the Hulk can’t break. He’s not going to repeat the same mistake twice. And speaking of making the same mistake twice, he went back and revamped the Extremis virus into pill form. Only this time Extremis is now a super Viagra with the accelerated healing factor without the blowing up bit. By the time Tony finished remaking Extremis, the three months have already gone.

While Tony was busy plotting, Stephen had the unpleasant time of getting the many numerous get well soon gifts from well-wishers and busybodies. It was bad enough he wasn’t allowed to have an erection without it to be extremely painful and not seeing Tony to tempt him is torture enough. Getting aphrodisiacs and tips on how not to injure yourself during sex from the elderly and aliens is not something he wants to repeat anytime soon. He rather go back and deal with clinic patients all day than to hear how whatever foodstuff they give him will make him “big and strong”.

And Wong is no help, aside from dealing with all the mystical threats in his stead. Wong is currently using his unfortunate accident to broker deals with other dimensional beings to not invade. Warmongering aliens apparently are nosy busy-bodies who like to reminiscence their own youthful indiscretions and would give out their condolences on how simple furniture could not withstand the strength of their lovemaking.

Stephen swore the next time he and Tony have sex; he’s not going to soundproof his room at all. Let Wong hear Tony extol his prowess in bed. He’ll give people something to talk about…

When the couple was finally given the ok to have sex, the entire block of Bleecker Street was devoid of upstanding moral citizens for 3 weeks. Depraved deviants on the other hand were camped out in front of the New York Sanctum sitting on lawn chairs, munching on pizza, popcorn and guzzling beer while watching one projected live-feed of one unsuspecting superhero couple.

Courtesy of a vengeful Wong, who if asked will only say he simply had a cousin over to do some simple IT work. How could he know that his younger cousin would plant a hidden camera and make a livestream? Never mind the gold chains and Rolex he’s wearing, those were a gift. Now if you’ll excuse him, he has several properties to attend to. It’s all for protecting the multi-verse of course.

Of course, Wong.

**Author's Note:**

> You can yell at me here or at my Tumblr at [MetalandFood](https://metalandfood.tumblr.com/)


End file.
